Avatar – Movie Review

I saw Avatar on Friday night. For those of you who don’t know what an avatar is, I’ll explain it. An Avatar is a computer user’s representation of themselves since they are too shy to go into the real world. It could be a 3d picture or 2d picture like this:

A friend gave me a ticket to a special screening in which James Cameron, Sigourney Weaver, Sam Worthington and producer Jon Landau were to speak at the end.

The ticket was free so I said “what the fuck is happening” with that?  I’ll go see it.

The Movie:

The movie was fine.  If you are slow or maybe just weren’t able to continue your education after the first grade, you will no doubt appreciate the exposition in this film.  If you miss something when it happens, don’t worry, the filmmakers made sure to hammer each little plot line several times so there would be no chance of anyone missing it.

You’ll walk away from this having learned not only something about the world we live in, but a little about yourself as well.

The Story:

The movie takes place on a planet called Pandora. Blah, Blah Blah. I think we all know the story because that can be gleaned from watching the trailer. US=BAD. We destroy things and only think of ourselves. Luckily a wolf in sheep’s clothing (Sam Worthington -who is really from the UK anyway) can single handedly save the day not only for America and Pandora, but for all mankind.

The heart behind this movie is in the story.  Yes, America is full of bad people, but we can all hope and believe that someday, a British guy putting on a terrible American accent can make us proud to be Americans again.

If you’re confused, please ask James Cameron why his 5 year plan for making this film didn’t include at least a week’s work with a vocal coach to help Sam Worthington sound at least somewhat authentic.  House can do it.  So can you.

The Effects:

The movie has some 3d effects too.  They were okay I guess.  I honestly didn’t see anything too revolutionary.  It looked fine I suppose.  After the movie, James Cameron was speaking about what the true advances were on this movie.  I wish I had heard him, but my attention was diverted by this lady:

She was sitting next to me and picking her teeth with a toothpick through the entire Q&A.  She made disgusting “approval-like” sounds as she got out each piece of food from in between her choppers.  Sounds like “ooh” and “mmm”.  I give myself lots of credit for not vomiting on the spot.

She also brought this pillow with her.  Not sure why:

This lady was annoying in so many ways.  She was one of those people who need to vocalize every emotion they have.  If something was scary she would say “That was scary.  Wasn’t that scary?”.  If something was funny she would laugh loudly and say “that was funny.”.  I think you get the idea.

Her crowning moment was during an awkward moment of the movie, people laughed at the awkwardness/cheesyness of the scene and she said “Why is everyone laughing?  That’s not funny.”. She’s a free thinker.

Avatar gets 3 Hanks


~ by hmsla on December 21, 2009.

3 Responses to “Avatar – Movie Review”

  1. I find very little review in your review. In that I mean I just saw Avatar not in any way based on the “hank” rating it got and am shocked to say that I very much enjoyed it. I am thinking of getting my limbs extended and painting myself blue and living in a large tree that grows on the largest cash of unobtanium within a two hundred click radius of L.A. I antuality this is a one Hank movie at worst! I do recommend seeing it in a non-hollywood setting, here in Burbank we have lots of “real” folks, the studio types only work here, and I can say without a doubt in the theater I was in the film certainly struck a chord. Worth every cent of the $17.

    • Since these comments are anonymous, I clearly have no idea who wrote this, but judging from the fact that you liked it, I can only assume that you have a miserable life. You’re probably in the middle of a bitter divorce which left you shellshocked and questioning your sexuality. I’m sorry that happiness is your “unobtanium”.

  2. Maybe that lady was taking dictation for HER blog. GIVE HER A BREAK.

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